what I was trying to say

what I was trying to say was
I wore black pants and a three-quarter
length sleeve blue shirt to my
grandfather's funeral when I was eleven
and although I never have worn this
outfit since, I found myself in it again
and it was not, as you might think,
the confirmation of an omen
or a spell broken by disbelief
it was just true, it is my funeral outfit
and no one had to ask me to wear it
not even me
like someone else said
you just go to thanksgiving
and look around and think
wow it's never going to be
exactly like this ever again