letters

cherry blossoms at night
by the light of my dream
I am grateful that darkness
exists in my sleep

I think thats the horror of
the morning
that it's already light
the black out shades
at least help you miss that feeling
that you've already missed so much

my great aunt or something
used to pray all night
wearing blue eyeshadow
in a rocking chair
heavy black curls bouncing
she said god had told her
not to bring the umbrella
that day

maybe I should wear blue eyeshadow
to sleep
she's beautiful
I barely know her
other than the gifts she used to buy
for my mom's birthday
a cake platter
a stained glass ornament
always breakable
like how she looks

different breakable aunt made me erase
the yin yang
from the dry erase

only someone who's really feeling something
though could be that sensitive to symbols

I know there is something there

this is all so obvious I'm squirming
someone said that you can disguise
avoidance as
a quest for knowledge
I think I do that all the time
as in: I'm just trying to read
as much as possible
before really calling
anything a poem

someone called that
skepticism and then called that
a ghost which haunts the world
of a single person

we wait for consciousness to grow heavy
before trying to do anything about it
like my grandma renewing her driver's license
for what

I just don't want death to be the last thing I ever want
or is that perfect?

babies are ancestral
my niece is a portal
or the fact of her future
puts me in the past
it's not en vogue
but honestly I'm excited
for the future
I imagine texting her
what if there's literally
a new alphabet
and she'll have to teach me
letter by letter
will she lol at how little
I know?
I'd love to get let in on
some little
mysteries