the built-ins like
a bruised peach
to me, it was bruised
before the metaphor
conversely, I forced myself to look for
the little dipper
something I wouldn't see
if it weren't called that
right now I'd be jealous of me if seen
through the window of a passing car
eyes shielding the sunset
on Ojai's gravel driveway
I'd be dying
I just sit here with
the remains of my manicure
on another person's table
in the morning
I tell Evie to throw away
the acrylics that fell off
under her mother's covers
short hand
I am here
but also in that car
passing this country house
wishing I was here
she's beading bracelets that say
whore and slut
for her first day of high school
I will always be
the person in the car passing
watching me try on the bracelet
watching for shadows on the driveway
surprised by my face in the TV
when she turns it off
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